


sitting five feet apart in a hot tub because unresolved feelings

by ushauz



Series: the adults you are looking for are in another caravan [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Chronic Pain, Haunted Inn, Humor, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28053645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ushauz/pseuds/ushauz
Summary: Fenris’ feelings have grown, but neither he nor Anders has made a move yet. One day while traveling, Fenris and Anders come across a strangely abandoned inn. It’s cozy. It’s inviting. It’s a breath of fresh air. But can this strangely abandoned inn be the thing that gets one of them to make a move?
Relationships: Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age), Anders/Fenris/Justice (Dragon Age)
Series: the adults you are looking for are in another caravan [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014930
Comments: 34
Kudos: 109





	sitting five feet apart in a hot tub because unresolved feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mikkeneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikkeneko/gifts).



> This fic was written for Mikkeneko who wanted to see the part where they get together.

A few months had passed since Anders had joined Fenris, and they were welcome ones. Fenris truly hadn’t noticed how damn _lonely_ he’d been feeling until Anders showed up.

He wasn’t alone anymore, and the relief he felt at that was almost overwhelming.

The loneliness, in hindsight, had almost been bordering on something akin to anger and betrayal. Which reminded him; he should probably stop by and see if Varric had written any letters. There was a town Fenris used for mail purposes, though that had been risky in the past, and Fenris had fallen out of the habit recently of visiting it. A couple of Seekers had tried to set up an ambush there for him once, before the Inquisition happened.

Fenris was a match for many foes, but not Seekers. He already had learned that the hard way.

Still, it was getting towards winter, and while winter was milder in the North, it did grow cold. They were traveling towards a town to refresh on supplies, but they were still a few days out.

“If you think this is cold, you should live through a Ferelden winter,” Anders said chipperly. “You don’t know the _meaning_ of cold until you step outside and all your nosehairs immediately freeze together.”

It seemed a universal truth that any Fereldan had to explain to you what cold ‘really meant’ should you bring it up. It wasn’t just Anders; Hawke, Aveline, and even Merrill after her own fashion would happily go on in great lengths about places far colder than wherever you were.

“I thought the mages kept the Circle at least tolerable,” Fenris said. “They had magic, didn’t they?”

“Most of the places in the Circle,” Anders said. “We’d trade off whose turn it was to try to warm up the area to something tolerable, and there were always some nooks and crannies they missed. It’s cheaper to just force everyone to wear extra layers than it is to spend on heating runes. Though I was a kid once, and I did live in Ferelden before the Circle. And, sometimes during the Circle, you know, I wasn’t always there. One escape attempt the Templars tried to look for me, but it was during a snowstorm, and I’d hidden in a snowpile, and they couldn’t actually find me. It was hilarious. They- actually caught me by the sound of my hysterical laughter.”

“That can be a problem,” Fenris said in a deadpan voice. “That said, even if it’s not Ferelden cold, it’s still _cold.”_

Anders gave him a single look, something that almost seemed strangely cautious. “Well… you can have my outer coat if you want. I’ve invested in this one, or well, I did after the explosion, so I actually have some runes for warmth lining the inside. Also cold runes for the summer, but those ones are off right now.”

This only served to highlight the problem. Anders had offered a coat before, back in the Kirkwall days. He offered everything, almost too much. Fenris had, on occasion, taken him up on the coat offer back in Kirkwall, because Fenris had spent time in Seheron, which was reasonably warm.

Now though, taking his coat seemed different. More intimate. Everything seemed more intimate. Fenris’ mind had firmly decided that Anders’ company would be appreciated in certain areas, and now that left _undertones_ to all of their interactions.

The thing was, he didn’t actually know if Anders felt the same. Anders would offer his coat to anyone. It was just a coat to Anders, nevermind it was the one extravagance he allowed himself in that final year.

Obviously for the fact that he was here with Fenris, Anders felt some level of friendly towards him, despite their disagreements in the past, and had admitted as much.

Anders had even blushed a number of times, but that didn’t necessarily mean things. Anders had blushed when Hawke had offered to kill Templars. Anders had blushed when Varric gave him a single earring. Anders had blushed when Isabela had once said ‘I don’t hate you’.

Surely blushing was not a good indication of Anders feeling attraction, right?

And Fenris wanted it to mean things. Which also in turn exasperated his own self, because an offered coat was an offered coat. That should be all that mattered. But it wasn’t. Part of Fenris very much cared on what level Anders was giving him his coat.

“Thank you,” Fenris said simply.

The coat was indeed quite warm, and it smelled like Anders did when Fenris subtly buried his face in the feathers.

And if Anders ended up walking a bit closer to Fenris, then Fenris could pretend it wasn’t just the weather.

—

Two days later, about mid afternoon, they stumbled across an inn on the side of the road. It looked in decent enough shape, though older in architecture, and trees framed it on either side. There were no signs of people, not from the outside at least.

“Looks abandoned,” Anders said, looking in through a window. “Weird.”

“There has been all matter of civil unrest everywhere,” Fenris pointed out. “There was a ‘border conflict’ between Nevarra and Tevinter not too long ago, and we are close to the border.”

“True,” Anders said. “Well, you’ve been complaining it’s cold. Maybe we could pop in if no one else is using it.”

“It is cold by the standards of this climate. Comparing everything to Ferelden is senseless.”

“Maybe if you wore _shoes_ with _socks_ you wouldn’t lose most of your body heat through your feet!”

Fenris ignored Anders’ stupid suggestions and approached the inn. The wood creaked when he stepped on the porch, but the wood was smooth against his feet. Cautiously he opened the door and entered, and Anders followed shortly behind him. Inside looked much like any other inn: tables, chairs, a counter, just no people. There was a large ornate back door, and a hallway stretching out on both ends.

“Doesn’t smell like death,” Anders said after a moment. “Smells homey, actually. Anyone there?”

There was no answer. Fenris checked the till on the counter. “No coins. Either they took the money with them, or someone else already looted this place.”

“I think they took the money with them,” Anders said, having entered a side room, “because I found the wine, and I’m sure someone would have taken this already.”

They left the wine and explored. There were a number of bedrooms down the long corridor. No dead bodies or signs of living. There was a kitchen area that still had pots and pans and cutlery, though there was no food. Everything was reasonably clean and without dust, which was odd.

Fenris felt like he should have a thought about that, but then Anders’ voice broke through his thoughts. “You _have_ to check out the back garden.”

Fenris frowned and approached quickly, and then he saw what Anders’ saw.

It was a beautiful garden, with fragrant blossoms growing on trellises, all framing a large area. The inn had been built lengthwise around it.

A large, steaming hot pool.

Anders was already kneeling and doing some kind of magic to the water.

“The water isn’t carrying disease,” he said after a moment, “and while I wouldn’t recommend drinking it, it should be safe enough to bathe in. If, you know. Your feetsies are hurting from just how cold it is.”

“It _is_ getting cold,” Fenris pointed out. And it was, as afternoon bled into evening. Colder than it had been the past few weeks because winter was approaching.

“Well,” Anders said, giving him a look. “Nobody else is here. I’m sure the owners wouldn’t mind us dipping in, and if they do suddenly show up and demand payment, we still have a bit of coin from the last slaver group we slaughtered.”

Fenris didn’t know what to say. On one hand, though he preferred not to mention it, the cold did aggravate his lyrium, more than the lyrium normally caused him pain. The lyrium got much colder than his skin did, and the lyrium would feel more like brands than they would in the spring.

A gentle sink into splendid hot water would be downright luxurious.

On the other hand-

“We don’t have many spare changes of clothes,” Fenris pointed out.

Anders shrugged. “We can strip to our smalls. Nobody else is around. And for next morning, I spotted a washertub. I can clean our spare clothing.”

That was exactly the problem. Fenris’ mind was already doing _things_ about Anders. And now Anders was offering to strip next to naked in front of him.

…he really wanted to be warm though. And the air was rapidly growing to have a bitter edge to the cold.

“Very well,” Fenris said. “I would offer you wine as we bathed, but I know you don’t like it.”

—

Even if there was no one around, it wasn’t polite to simply go straight from the road to a special hot pool. Fenris insisted they both wash up first before entering, because that’s simply what one did.

Fenris had stripped down to an undershirt and smalls. Anders was in just his smalls, and soaking in hot water. The heat was making Anders flush (and not just flush red; Anders’ skin would occasionally crackle in blue), and Fenris’ imagination was now running rampant with other possible activities leading to flushed skin. Especially when Anders had initially entered the hot water with a long moan of pleasure.

It made Fenris almost uncomfortable. Anders hadn’t asked for Fenris to think _thoughts_ about him, no matter how long those legs and fingers were. There was lean muscle on that frame, as well as a number of scars. And yes, Fenris had seen Anders almost naked before a number of times at Kirkwall. He’d also had burgeoning feelings in Kirkwall as well.

Fenris could not overstate though how much more attractive Anders was now that he did not live in a sewer. It wasn’t necessarily clean living while traveling around and killing people, but it was still far more clean than living in the sewers.

Fenris let himself lower further into the hot water to cover any flushing on his part, and it was very pleasant. Almost heady. The lyrium slowly stopped aching, and he began to feel relaxed.

“We could remember where this place is,” Anders suggested after a bout of comfortable silence. “In between hunting slaver groups. If the original owners don’t return for it, someone else will snatch this place up.”

It wasn’t a half-bad idea. Fenris wouldn’t mind parting with some of his coin from time-to-time in order to engage in the simple pleasures of a hot bath.

He gave a half-glance back to Anders, who was low enough in the water that his hair floated around him in a halo. He looked peaceful, and that was something Anders rarely seemed to be. The handful of times Fenris had seen Anders look peaceful had actually been of late, since Kirkwall. It was a good look on him.

Fenris’ brain helpfully piped up with other ways he could help Anders feel ‘relaxed’.

And then his brain started going through every last rumor he ever heard of ‘Grey Warden stamina’. Just rumors, of course, but what was he supposed to do? Ask Anders about his sex life? ‘By the way, I’ve been curious, how much sexual stamina do you have, I’m asking for a very curious friend?’

Fenris was out of practice with flattery, wasn’t sure if he’d ever been in practice, but even he knew that was not how he would start.

A cold wind blew across the surface of the water, and he shivered despite the heat of the water.

And yet, Anders was close. He obviously felt some sort of affection to Fenris, otherwise he wouldn’t have joined him. But at the same time, did Fenris really want to risk their peace? What if Anders didn’t feel the same, and Fenris had simply been misinterpreting the many, many times Anders had blushed. Maybe he had a condition. He blushed all the time in Kirkwall. Maybe it was part of being an abomination.

And what if _Anders_ felt things for Fenris, but Justice didn’t? Or vice versa? If only one of them had affections, then the other would be forced to endure unwanted affections, and that seemed-

Was this overthinking it? Normal amount of thinking of it? And he’d already decided he was interested in them both, so what would he do if only one of them was interested?

The wind grew colder, and Fenris slipped more into the hot springs.

He was a grown man. He could figure this out somehow.

—

Eventually they left the hot springs, bodies steaming slightly in the cold night air, though Anders did slip and fall right into Fenris’ arms.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Anders said, still flushed from the heat. “Rocks, and wetness, and- yeah sorry.”

He pulled away too quickly, which disappointed Fenris. Yes, he didn’t usually like to be touched, but that was because the lyrium usually hurt. Right now he felt pleasantly relaxed, and perhaps wouldn’t mind if Anders touched him more.

Especially in certain areas. With those long, talented fingers.

The inn itself was colder still, and Fenris shivered, wrapping a blanket around himself, while his mind helpfully replayed everything he heard Isabela say about Anders’ ‘magical’ fingers. They had a lovely dinner though, lit by Anders’ magical floating lights which cast everything in a warm glow.

They passed food back between the two of them, and maybe Fenris tried letting his touch draw out a bit longer than absolutely necessary. It was hard to tell if Anders noticed, as he hadn’t unblushed since leaving the hot pool.

“Well, it’s getting late. I’ll go look for a room for myself,” Anders said.

“I should also retire,” Fenris said.

Together they checked the first room. While there was some basic furniture including a bed frame, there was no mattress. It didn’t really matter, as there were multiple rooms, so they checked the next one.

There was also no mattress.

Fenris frowned, and kept checking room after room until at the very last room, they finally found a bed with mattress intact. Anders stayed in the door, a similar frown on his face, as Fenris entered.

“Seems soft enough,” Fenris said, testing the mattress with one hand. “There’s obviously only the one, but. It’s not… a small bed.”

Fenris’ mind immediately began to flip through scenarios. Fenris would not be comfortable if Anders got the bed and Fenris didn’t, for reasons. For those exact same reasons, Fenris was also not comfortable with the reverse of the situation. The only solution would be to share the bed, equally, or for neither of them to use the bed, but that seemed like a waste of a perfectly good bed.

The problem then would be that he would be sharing a bed with Anders. And yes, that didn’t necessarily mean anything; one could easily share a bed and have it not mean anything.

But Fenris’ brain _wanted_ it to mean anything. And it was cold, you know, and Anders looked very warm-

“Oh fuck me,” Anders said exasperatedly.

Fenris managed to bite down on his first response which was ‘okay?’

“What?” Fenris barely managed to ask instead.

“A strangely abandoned inn,” Anders said. “In surprisingly good state, and not dusty, which it should be, with a magical hot springs and oh yeah there’s only one bed. That’s where you made your mistake. It’s a dead giveaway. I know you are haunting this place, Desire.”

A purple mist slid out of the floorboards, and it unfolded into the most surly looking Desire demon Fenris had ever seen.

“You can always tell if a Desire is haunting an area because inevitably there is only one bed,” what had to be Justice said crossly. “The oldest trick in the book.”

“Okay, you figured it out,” Desire said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. “You don’t have to be a jerk about it. You can just leave.”

Not just the one bed. The strangely cold air. The inviting atmosphere. Anders ‘tripping’ into his arms.

“Were you trying to set us up?” Fenris asked, eyes narrowed.

“Oh, don’t say it like that,” Desire said, frustration flashing across her face. “You don’t get it. Travelers come in here all the time, and guess what. Usually there’s some kind of _pining_ going on,” Desire said, spitting the word ‘pining’. “You know who has to live with pining? Me! I have to live with it! I have to hear everyone’s thoughts and desires and how oh no I can’t ever tell him how I feel because what if he doesn’t feel the same way back? I hate it. It’s terrible. So yes, _maybe_ I help encourage people to just confess already. I set some basic mood lighting in hopes you three would figure it out for yourselves. I would also point out, that’s all I did, Justice, no manipulation or mind control or sex pollen or anything nefarious. Just some mood lighting.”

Fenris was now blushing to his ears. Anders, or Justice, or them both, had his face in his hands.

“So- could you just leave?” Fenris asked.

“This is _my_ inn,” Desire said crossly. “It’s my home. I’ve lived here for years! _You_ leave if you don’t like it.”

“What if- what if there are travelers who aren’t pining?” Fenris asked.

Desire shrugged. “I just put back the other mattresses. That’s it. It’s not really that hard.”

A long, very awkward silence filled the room. But it wasn’t bitterly cold anymore.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep here anymore,” Anders finally said. “Maybe we should just leave.”

“Yes, we should.”

Desire gave them both a look. “You might want to dress first if you do. Just. Just mentioning that.”

—

Fenris was surprised that Justice didn’t kill Desire for all of his talk about demons, but he did suppose that Desire hadn’t done anything that nefarious, and from the times he remembered it was definitely Justice talking, when it wasn’t slavers or Templars or nefarious demons, Justice seemed to favor reparations. And she was there first. Maybe he couldn’t sense evil from her or however he experienced it.

Ugh, Fenris had spent too long in Kirkwall, having now sorted demons into ‘nefarious’ and ‘not nefarious’ categories.

They left the inn, quietly, and then, without talking, walked a good ways down the road. Fenris wasn’t a human with poor night vision, and Anders still had his little lights. Eventually they found a decent enough spot off the side of the road away from prying eyes, and set up there. Anders magically set up a fire, and both of them pulled out their bedrolls.

Fenris sat on his bedroll, staring at the fire, and pretending the heat in his ears was from it and not anything else.

But.

For one thing, Anders was also looking just as embarrassed.

For a second, more important, thing, Desire had said you _three_ would figure it out. Perhaps… Fenris wasn’t the only one with feelings.

And you know what, Fenris had spent long enough being alone, and had long enough to figure himself out. He’d regretted never saying anything in Kirkwall and watching that opportunity turn to dust in his hands, and here right now, by a stroke of fortune, he had that opportunity back.

“You know,” Fenris said, voice shattering the silence around them. “It is a really cold night. Perhaps… you could get closer?”

“No it isn’t?” Anders asked confusedly. “That was just her; it’s much warmer now.”

Fenris stared at Anders.

Anders’ eyebrows went down, and he squinted for a bit before his eyes widened, and then the eyebrows went back up. “Oh! You were- was that…” Anders paused for a moment. “…subterfuge?”

Fenris put his head in his hands and began to chuckle.

“Shit it was subterfuge! Okay, yeah sure let me just-” And Anders quickly scooted over to Fenris’ side. After a moment, he slowly put an arm around Fenris’ shoulders. “There we go. Much warmer.”

Fenris leaned into the embrace.

It was a night for courage it seemed. He’d spent this long alone, and he wasn’t going to spend a night longer if he could help it.

“Just in case it wasn’t clear,” Fenris said slowly, “you yourself have said repeatedly there’s not a clear line between Anders and Justice. Similarly, there isn’t a clear line in my affections. I… care for you, as a whole.”

“…oh. Uh, thanks for saying that,” Anders said, or possibly not entirely Anders. There was a slight crackle of blue. “It’s not easy to tell.”

Well so far his affections seemed wanted. So.

“You are aware the lyrium causes me pain,” Fenris said.

“I’ve noticed,” Anders said.

“Most days, I do not like touch. It’s too much,” Fenris said. “It is rare the day I am not in pain, but the pool helped greatly, and as such, it seems a waste to let an opportunity pass by.”

“I’m happy to snuggle,” Anders said. “And I can understand, after a fashion. I have to work around what’s the latest going on with my mind. It’s always doing something.”

Fenris could learn the art of flirting with Anders. Apparently it was being as direct as possible.

So he tried again. “I find myself interested in your company, as long as the pain is gone, though I understand if that’s moving too quickly for you.”

Anders blinked. “We’ve… we’ve known each other for twelve years, and _that’s_ moving too quickly? I’m scared to ask what moving slow looks like.”

“You know very well what I mean. You’re being difficult on purpose,” Fenris said, trying not to grin.

“I am,” Anders said, not even trying to keep the grin off of his face. “And actually I think Justice agrees with you over me on this one, but- are you sure?” His voice trailed off on a note of insecurity, and the smile left his face.

“Yes,” Fenris said, trying to impart the strength of his feelings in that one word. “I would not offer otherwise. And, if we are together, we might not- get many opportunities.”

Anders gave him a cautious, hopeful look. Fenris had the feeling this might be a conversation they might have a few times, but he would be fine with that.

The world hadn’t been kind to either of them.

“If you’re fine with it, I might try figuring out some healing magic for the lyrium pain,” Anders said. “I’ve got nothing but time.”

Fenris wasn’t sure if Anders would remember, but he’d made an offer like that before, back in Kirkwall. Fenris had turned him down, because magic on his skin was still upsetting at the time.

Anders’ magic didn’t upset him now.

“I would welcome a relief,” Fenris said. “But, that could take time. If you aren’t interested now-”

“I’m very interested,” Anders said quickly.

A small grin tugged at the corner of Fenris’ lips. “Well then. Shall we?”

**Author's Note:**

> Desire would in fact count the fact that they hooked up outside of her inn as ‘still technically a win’. She would go on to set up more relationships in the future, including at one point, the Chargers.


End file.
